Everybody telling you that life is worthwhile, is living in a parallel universe. They all live in one big lie.
Further research however showed that people with depression tend to remember things in a more negative way. For me it felt like I saw the reality in a more real way. It p*ssed me off when people were super-duper happy or thought about the world as a rainbow and unicorn place. It still does.
For me one of the core symptoms of depression is the lack of connection. It’s difficult to see the world as a happy or safe place when you observe it like an alien. I felt like an outsider and I still sometimes do. As if depressed people actually can see reality more accurate, research has debunked that idea. Depression makes you leave out some relevant information and you see reality through depressed glasses. On occasion that way of looking at things is more accurate but other times it’s not.
You’ve must have done something so horrible that you deserve to be punished like this. It is all your fault.
Overwhelming guilt is a sign of depression. Freud pointed out that depression was different from simple sadness because it was associated with guilt. Today psychologists consider self-blame a key symptom of depression. When something bad happens depressed people tend to blame themselves and see it as a reflection of their self-worth as a whole. For example, when you fail an exam, you are a total failure. Depressed people only apply this principle to themselves and not to other people in the same situation.
The unusual amount of guilt directed towards oneself may come from two separate regions of the brain that don’t work together as they should. As a result people prone to depression don’t get an accurate picture of what they did wrong but their interpretation is more based on purely feelings of guilt. Regions of the brain that deal with morality and what is socially acceptable were more active in people without depression and they could describe their faults with more nuance.
Notes and references.
 Green S, Lambon Ralph MA, Moll J, Deakin JFW, Zahn R. Guilt-Selective Functional Disconnection of Anterior Temporal and Subgenual Cortices in Major Depressive Disorder. Arch Gen Psychiatry. 2012;69(10):1014–1021.
 Freud S. Trauer und Melancholie. Zeitschrift fuer Aerztliche Psychoanalyse. 1917;4(6):288-301
 Remember that these descriptions vary from person to person, you may experience what other people with depression don’t. There are a lot of different forms and symptoms with mental illness.
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