Review ‘The *more or less* definitive guide to self-care. (Anna Borges).

I ordered this book thinking that it was really written for me. I struggled with self-care and ran out of ideas what to do when I needed my ‘down-time’. Plus extra options are always welcome.

Find The more of less definitive guide to self-care on Goodreads. Image from Goodreads.

First of all, this book looks and feels luxurious. It’s heavy, like it’s important you know. It’s arrived in your bookshelf and it is going to stay! The cover is pink with gold rose lettering, which radiates some wellness already. For a book about self-care, I think that’s important.

The lettering is good, we’re not talking about tiny letters cramped one upon the other but all the tips have enough white space around them, so your eyes can glaze over them.

Forgive yourself for your mistakes. You’re human and you’re bound to mess up. Don’t beat yourself up for a decision that turned out to be the wrong one. Your decision probably made the most sense with the data available to you at the time.

A. Borges

Did I mention the tips already? That is actually the content of the book. It is full of tips, exercises; activities and stories from the author as well as people giving their view on self-care.

In the beginning I picked up the book when I needed a (quick) break. I learned now to look into it before I need a break, so I actually have the energy to be inspired. In that regard, it’s not a book that stays on the shelf when you’ve read it. It can guide you whenever you need it and provide useful tips. I use it more as an inspiration board than a real reading book.

To give you an idea about the content, I’ll share some tips with you. Warning: there is some humor involved and you’ll find a mix of serious tips along with some funny ones.

Loopholes. Do you have obsessive thoughts about having left your straightening iron on that distract you during work? Just take it with you when you leave the house. Does having to do dishes make you reluctant to cook? Buy paper plates. Do body issues get in the way of hygiene because you don’t like to see yourself naked? Shower in the dark. With a little creative thinking, you can probably hack the ways your mental health disrupts your life – they may not be conventional solutions, but if they work, they work.

A. Borges.

When you need to find a quicker answer to your self-care needs, the author put a decision tree at the end, so you’ll find relevant entries that you may find helpful at this moment.

I found this a very helpful book. It is full of wisdom but packed with a humorous tone. It’s practical and beautiful. I’m glad I’ve bought for myself as a present.

Want. Things we think we should do have a habit of hanging over us like clouds: I should work out more. I should be happier. I should be more grateful. I should have made more progress in therapy by now. But the thing about should is that it often represents unrealistic standards, set by ourselves and others. … When we focus on what we think we should be doing we wind up ignoring or even forgetting what we want. …

Instead of should-ing yourself, try focusing on, I want and I would like. Changing “I should be a better friend” to “I want to be better friend” or “I should eat healthier” to “I want to eat healthier.”

You mind find that reframing it makes it untrue. When you honestly can’t say that you want to work out more it can be time to take pressure off. Reframing can shift the focus away from the fear and judgement of ourselves that prevents us from being the people that we want to be.

A. Borges.