A: Proper parental supervision. Protection, structure and support. A safe and accepting environment.
My inner child needs to grow into a psychological adult. How can this happen?
First I needed to find the little girl. I tried to find her some years ago but it seemed to weird and I gave up. Recently my therapist played the little girl and it was very easy for me to respond to her. Because for a second I could really see her and comfort her. I took her home after the session.
Next, I connect with her and take her seriously. I communicate that with the ‘Little One’, I listen to how she feels and what she needs from me here and now. I find it is much easier for me to care for her than for me. I don’t really care if I ate or not because I know that time passes and hunger too. But I like to make some food for her. I like to care for her and I see what happens when I don’t.
What we didn’t sufficiently receive in the past from our parents must be confronted in the present, painful though it may be. The past traumas, sadness, disappointments and depression cannot be changed and must be accepted. Unfortunately for most of us, certain infantile needs were, maliciously or not, unmet by our imperfect parents or caretakers. And they never will be, no matter how good or smart or attractive or spiritual or loving we become. Those days are over. What was done cannot be undone. We should not as adults now expect others to meet all of these unfulfilled childhood needs. They cannot. Authentic adulthood requires both accepting the painful past and the primary responsibility for taking care of that inner child’s needs, for being a “good enough” parent to him or her now–and in the future.
Has your adult self spent time with your inner child today?