Q: What does the inner child need?


A: Proper parental supervision. Protection, structure and support. A safe and accepting environment.


My inner child needs to grow into a psychological adult. How can this happen?


First I needed to find the little girl. I tried to find her some years ago but it seemed to weird and I gave up. Recently my therapist played the little girl and it was very easy for me to respond to her. Because for a second I could really see her and comfort her. I took her home after the session.

Next, I connect with her and take her seriously. I communicate that with the โ€˜Little Oneโ€™, I listen to how she feels and what she needs from me here and now. I find it is much easier for me to care for her than for me. I donโ€™t really care if I ate or not because I know that time passes and hunger too. But I like to make some food for her. I like to care for her and I see what happens when I don’t.

What we didn’t sufficiently receive in the past from our parents must be confronted in the present, painful though it may be. The past traumas, sadness, disappointments and depression cannot be changed and must be accepted. Unfortunately for most of us, certain infantile needs were, maliciously or not, unmet by our imperfect parents or caretakers. And they never will be, no matter how good or smart or attractive or spiritual or loving we become. Those days are over. What was done cannot be undone. We should not as adults now expect others to meet all of these unfulfilled childhood needs. They cannot. Authentic adulthood requires both accepting the painful past and the primary responsibility for taking care of that inner child’s needs, for being a “good enough” parent to him or her now–and in the future.


Has your adult self spent time with your inner child today?





[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evil-deeds/200806/essential-secrets-psychotherapy-the-inner-child



15 thoughts on “Q: What does the inner child need?

    1. No it feel like it is , in a way, not for me and that makes it easier to do. But I, myself, notice a positive effect and it sets something in motion. My therapist was also worried that I started to see her as somebody different. I have such a vivid phantasy-world ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    1. wow kachaiweb, I too struggled to find my inner child, I have found her , but reading your post has enlightened and helped me understand what I should be doing. I have forgiven my family but still will not have any contact with my parents, and very limited contact with my brother, my sister and i don’t communicate. I have accepted and let go forgiven(more for me than them) as my anger was eating me. I chose us and we are worth it!. I am going to be more aware of my inner child now after reading this. It really hit a chord for me. I love it when the spirits do that Tazzie

      Liked by 1 person

  1. This is a beautiful post about inner child work. I still havenโ€™t been able to talk to my little one without guidance from my therapist and knowing what to say.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! Everybody has his/her journey to go through and to learn. I have a very vivid imagination ๐Ÿ™‚ Inner child work is very surprising to me because the little one is really different as I would imagine. She is brave and speaks to me ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you for commenting!


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