False Self.
Winnicott used the term of False Self to refer to two situations: In the first one it is the structure that protects the self, it is the social façade. In the other situation the child will develop a personality (a false self) due to disturbing reactions from its surrounding and not based upon its own talents and possibilities. This happens when during the earliest life there is a lot of infringement that disrupts the continuity of being.
The care taker who isn’t good enough, doesn’t adapt to the needs of the child but he/she forces the child to adapt to his or her needs instead. The child that adapts, develops a self tuned into the needs of the other and neglects his/hers own needs. This is not an authentic self but a false self. The false self exists in different degrees. When due to the false self a connection with the real self becomes impossible, life becomes meaningless, the idea that nothing matters and that life isn’t worth living appears.
Did not know there was word for it.. thanks for sharing this
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You’re very welcome. Finding words for your feelings or thoughts can clear things up. And if there is a word for it, it means you are not alone and you can share it.
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Wow I am blown away. This describes my childhood. However, through therapy and a lot of self help books I believe I am my authentic self now. Being 48 years old helps too. Maturing heals so much. Thanks for posting!
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Thank you for your hopeful answer! It is nice to get ‘a second chance’, at least that is how it feels for me, in life with getting older. I’m glad you found/are your true you!
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