Surprising symptoms of depression and burnout. Part 3.

 

This is a series about surprising symptoms and circumstances I noticed while dealing with burnout and depression. One year ago I couldn’t imagine this would be my life. Life and its ways …

 

There is stuff everywhere!  Stuff is already a problem without my mental problems. I have so much stuff. Over a year ago I Marie Kondo-ed my home twice and still … Now with lack of focus, the place doesn’t look how it used to be. When you’re beginning to pick up your life during depression, you need to adjust your expectations. It’s difficult to be easier on myself and not to expect it to be how it was because I see what I see. I see dishes, laundry, the bed that needs to be made and dinner that won’t cook itself. Instead of doing all of those things I’m happy to write this blog. Maybe it’s an avoidance strategy? What do you think?

 

Weight loss and weight gain. First there was weight loss because I was too stressed, too panicked and too tired to eat. With depression came little interest in eating healthy. This resulted in weight gain. So, that must balance out I hear you thinking. No no, more is gained than was lost off course. Maybe it’s due to medication. But I rather feel better with more weight than appear thinner but feel utterly miserable. Oh another fun fact, all the stress from the burnout had his impact on my digestive system. I will not elaborate on this point because tmi.

 

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Gasping for air, feeling your heart beat. My mindfulness teacher told me that was a good feature because it ment I was still alive. Well, that is true. But my body felt in a constant state of panic while I was just sitting down, watching tv, sat on the bus, walked the streets ….

 

Being tense all the time. I hear and see everything. I hear it when my neighbors cough, when their water runs, when they leave the house and when they come back home. And sometimes it scares me, all the sudden noises (when the front door closes it makes a bang!). It didn’t use to but it does bother me now. I hope this tension will leave soon, it knows already where the door is!

 

Sweating a lot. This one is a bit embarrassing but mostly inconvenient. When I rushed to work, already stressed out and fearful, I arrived a bit sweaty. During the workday, trying to keep up with all the tasks, I did sweat some more. I remember a patient handing me a deodorant. She was so sweet about it. She wanted to help me out and not to hurt my feelings. But it was what it was. I ran around like a chicken without a head, a sweaty, smelly chicken. Due to excessive sweating I changed clothes more often, the laundry piled up, I had to do more laundry and as a result had even more things to manage. I thought there was something wrong with my body (maybe early menopause?) but now I don’t sweat that much. It was a reaction due to stress I believe. Hmm, nice to know.

 

On this ‘hot’ note I will leave for today. Did you encounter some of these strange symptoms? Or do you have questions for me or maybe you want me to elaborate at some points? (maybe just not the sweating!) Let me know in the comments. I wrote more about my surprising symptoms, you can read part 1 and part 2 here if you like.

 

 

 

 

 

16 thoughts on “Surprising symptoms of depression and burnout. Part 3.

  1. I am not good at keeping up with cleaning tasks. I do like getting rid of stuff, but it’s not always a good thing. I’ve gotten rid of almost everything of sentimental value because I didn’t want to be reminded that my life used to be different.

    I’ve always tended to be quite sweaty, but at least deodorant keeps me from being a smelly chicken.

    And I’d rather be fat and medicated than “normal” size and unmedicated. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s difficult what to accept from the past and what to leave behind. I wanted to throw everything out but kept calm. I will go through it all one day, to make a fresh start. With the body things, it’s so embarrassing sometimes and when it pairs up with cognitive side-effects, it can be a serious blow to my self-esteem. But little by little my body is getting regulated again. The body is wonderful like that but I didn’t listen to it. About the size; I’m too tired to make a fuss about it, absolutely no energy for that! 😀 Thank you for sharing, it helps to read that people are experiencing some things also. Some different, some alike.

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  2. I feel you on all of these! So interesting! I find that my eczema flares up when I’m really anxious and stressed. I’m interested in reading Joe Dispenza’s book, “How to Heal Your Body With Your Mind”. Have you heard of Joe Dispenza? His story is fascinating, and since hearing it I’ve wondered if I can heal my eczema and some of the other physical side effects of chronic stress and depression with mindset work. Thank you so much for continuing to share your story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading and for commenting! I don’t know Joe Dispenza, I will look it up. I believe in the capacity of the mind but how to operate the mind is the challenge that I’m facing now. In a slow pace 😉

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  3. There is stuff everywhere! When I read that I felt it so hard! When I was younger and I lived with my best friend, her mom was actually the first person to bring to my attention that my room was always messy when something was wrong. Now I notice it all the time! Whenever, I am experiencing a depression episode, my apartment looks like a tornado ran through it. During my episodes, I normally feel like I have 1000 thoughts going through my head and I am all over the place emotionally. It’s almost like, how I feel on the inside starts to reflect on the outside too. It’s weird but I never notice until after the mess has already happen.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes it is actually like that. I also understand and feel ‘being all over the place emotionally’ it’s so rough sometimes. I did try to ‘reverse’ the process: to clean and tidy very stricktly and it did not work. For me it is also a ‘sign’ that something is/was going on out of the ordinairy. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

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  4. Yes to a lot of these! When my anxiety gets bad I tend to get this feeling like I can’t get a full deep breath. For a while I wondered if I had asthma or something. Nope, just anxiety.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. When I notice shallow breathing I need to slow down and take some deep breaths. It happens mostly when I’m outside. Funny how we first tend to think that the body is doing something ‘wrong’ like asthma or in my case very early menopauze, while the body is trying to send a signal to warn us. We can learn to attent to it. Thank you for visiting and commenting!

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    1. The area of medication is very new to me. I have little side effects but I hope to find stories of others on the topic. I can imagine that it can be a difficult road to find a ‘fit’. Thank you for your interesting comment.

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